It was 1 September 2016, the first day of a whole new and (supposedly) exciting chapter of my life. The day I was to become my own boss, working as a qualified counsellor – as Freddie Counsellor – for myself, from my home, in my own private practice.
On 16 April 2021, the following article, by Sandisiwe Shoba, appeared in Daily Maverick. I somehow never posted it. It was about my book, Life Anon: A 12-step guide to life. At that stage I still called it Life Anon, A 12-step guide to life for non-addicts (as you will see in the article). Since then, with the second edition, I’ve changed the name, as I feel softer in the addiction space and feel uncomfortable with labels like addict. So, here it is now. Rather late than never.
This is another Daily Maverick which I failed to post as a blog.
“Burnout is real, but it can be prevented and addressed. We need to reach out for help when we realise we are in the danger zone. We won’t ignore a cyst growing on our face – why ignore other obvious symptoms that something is wrong?”
This is yet another Daily Maverick which I failed to post as a blog.
“Preparation for a possible third wave, or a continuation of the Covid-19 crisis as we enter year two of the pandemic, needs to entail psychosocial work on ourselves; this requires scrutinising the interplay of our individual thoughts and behaviours in relation to the social factors influencing our lives.”
Yesterday, I was invited to be a guest on the Daily Maverick podcast, Don’t Shoot the Messenger. (This is not my chat with them, but a link to find the podcast). The topic of discussion was lockdown and the ban on the sales of alcohol and cigarettes. They wanted to hear my opinion on the ban within the context of addiction. It dawned on me during the talk that I have never posted the Alcoholics Anonymous: Are you an Alcoholic questionnaire. So, here it is.
MENTAL HEALTH IN THE TIME OF COVID-19 LOCKDOWN PANICDEMIC
On 6 April, I was privileged to talk to the folks of the Kaboutjie Facebook Group about Mental Health during Covid-19. Lynne Huysamen and I talked about strategies to keep us going and stay mentally healthy and happy, while also considering listeners’ input and taking their questions. This blog summarises the 15 tools of mental health I brought to the table for discussion.
LIFE ANON: PEARLS OF WISDOM
I just finished Freddie’s book. I absolutely love it! Really practical, personal, and true to the 12 steps. I learned several new things from it, even after 34 years sober in Alcoholics Anonymous. Here’s a list of my favorite quotes. (Gigi Langer - Author of 50 Ways to Worry Less Now)
SCREEN ADDICTION QUESTIONNAIRY
Simply honestly answer Yes or No to these 15 questions.
HONEYBUSH
Researchers have found that Honeybush contains antioxidants (polyphenols and mangefirin) which neutralise harmful free radicals. In addition, The Agricultural Research Council has found that it may have applications in the alleviation of menopausal symptoms.
A friend recently sent me a flyer about a talk that was going to take place at Beaumont Primary School. The topic was “Digital Cocaine”. As a recovering addict and a Holistic Counsellor, specialising in addiction, I was extremely interested to attend the event. I am aware of the extent of what we call “screen and/or technology addiction” and was interested in learning more.
I have discovered a new meditation app, called Insight Timer. It is definitely the most user friendly meditation app I have come across. I still have to use one of their meditations that I did not enjoy doing and think most of the ones I have done so far are excellent.
So, I wrote a book! It was printed by professional printers and is being sold. It feels as if I am adulting successfully! If people buy it and work through it, their lives might get better too. So, I might be helping people. That feels awesome!
A not-so-new drug being introduced into South Africa. It is cheaper than cocaine, extremely dangerous, and should be avoided at all cost. It is popularly known as “flakka” but is also called “gravel”, “bath salt”, or “the zombie-drug”. In America it is often referred to as the “$5 insanity drug”.
I love getting new stuff. I get excited before I buy it and am very disappointed if I cannot immediately get what I want. I love the feeling of instant gratification. But I don’t like shopping.
I don’t know much about ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) and ADHD (Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder), but I do know a few people who have been diagnosed with on these conditions and who are taking medication for it. They seem to be coping well.
What is meditation? Wikipedia defines it as follows: “Meditation is a practice where an individual operates or trains the mind or induces a mode of consciousness either to realize some benefit or for the mind to simply acknowledge its content without becoming identified with that content, or as an end in itself.”
Being in recovery from addiction doesn’t absolve us from getting sick. Illness can make us feel weak, vulnerable, and more prone to relapse. However, we cannot take just any medication. Many contain addictive or mind/mood-altering substances that we must avoid. When I was in rehab, I was taught to steer clear of:
People from all walks of life are being diagnosed and treated for burnout these days, but it is not a modern phenomenon. It was first identified in people in the helping profession in 1970, by American Psychologist, Herbert Freudenberger. I have been noticing it more and more these days. When you ask someone how they are doing, the inevitable answer is most likely “Tired” or “Stressed out”.
I can get childishly excited about something new in my life. I am one of those people who, when buying a new shirt, would like to put it on in the shop and walk out wearing it. Apparently, that is not okay. From my perspective, I do not really grasp the social non-acceptance of it. Seeing that I am neither Martha Stewart, Emsie Schoeman nor Nataniël, I do not get to make the rules. I only get to live by them.
My husband and I try to fit some form of cultural experience into our lives each month. We mostly end up going to Cape Town. Living in Somerset West, I call it the “big city” and actually get dressed up for the occasion. We normally see a theatre production of sorts.
I do not often hear news that excites me in a positive way. But, last week was a welcome exception.
In this article, Janine gives a lot more detail about her session with me and explains a bit more about what happened and why she did certain things. I trust you will enjoy it and find it useful. All discrepancies between her article and mine are due to my lack of memory, as I was too “involved in being healed” to recall everything clearly. This is written by Janine and published with her permission.
As a Psychological Counsellor, I mostly apply some cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) techniques in my practice. I do enjoy exploring other therapy techniques, mostly those on, what I would refer to as, the alternative end of the therapy spectrum. I love having them used on me so that I can see if I gain any benefit from them. I then feel safe and confident to offer them as additional therapies for my clients. I do not believe that therapy is a one-size-fits-all solution and am open-minded enough to know that I am not the alpha and omega to a better life for my clients.
Ek het lanklaas geskryf. Baie lanklaas.
Ek kon eenvoudig aan niks dink om te sê nie en dit wat ek wou neerpen het net eenvoudig nie belangrik genoeg geklink om die moeite mee te doen nie. Dit wat die moeite werd geklink het, het dan weer na te veel moeite gelyk. ‘n “Whatever”, “Who cares?” houding het my beetgepak.
Ek lees nou die dag ‘n artikel op News 24, geskryf deur Clem Sunter, getiteld: “The Economic Liberation of the Afrikaners”. Daarin maak hy die volgende stelling: “I was told the other day that the fastest growing element of the Johannesburg Stock Exchange are companies owned and run by Afrikaners.”
It is Sunday afternoon, just after lunch, and I have settled down for a refreshing nap. I had just turned on my side and sighed that last contented deep sigh before sleep overwhelms me, when my phone rings. I am wide awake and instantly furious. The person who called has disconnected the call when I answered and when I called back, my call went unanswered. I am beyond pissed off and fall into complete self-pity for “poor-exhausted-me-who-cannot-even-get-a-few-minutes-of-rest”.
I have been doing some “soul-scratching” work the past few weeks and the concept of bullying has come up a few times. So, I have been thinking about that quite a lot recently. As you know, I do not write scientific papers. I write about what is going on in my head. Considering that I am quite an emotionally driven individual, when I say I “write what is in my head”, I actually mean that I capture what I am feeling. No science here.
I have recently been spending a lot of time and energy in my own head, debating the concept of happiness - forgetting what a dangerous neighbourhood I find myself in when I’m there.
I am proud to have received my Addiction Counselor Certification South Africa (ACCSA) membership.
What is this thing called fear? Is it just a physical reaction to an external stimulus, or is there more behind it?
I was sitting in a group, sharing my heart out, when the counsellor suddenly stopped me and addressed the group: “What is the group hearing Freddie say?”
I don’t know about you, but I am quite easily overwhelmed by the demands of life.